110+ Mark Twain Quotes About Life, Love, Humour & Travel

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.

I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.

The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter. ’tis the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.

God created war so that Americans would learn geography.

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great ones make you feel that you, too, can become great.

A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).

If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

Life does not consist mainly, or even largely, of facts or happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever flowing through one’s head.

The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

There are three things men can do with women: love them, suffer them, or turn them into literature.

When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.

The trouble is not in dying for a friend, but in finding a friend worth dying for.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.

If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.

After all these years, I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.

I’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade, without further introduction.

Don’t wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality

Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Everyone is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer someone else up.

The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.

If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re misinformed.

Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

The easy confidence with which I know another man’s religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.

Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme.

Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Ignorant people think it is the noise that fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain’t so; it is the sickening grammar that they use.

If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.

To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.

It is by the goodness of god that in our country we have those 3 unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.

It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.

Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.

Good judgment is the result of experience and experiences are the result of bad judgment.

It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime.

There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land (and work) again after a cheerful, careless voyage.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, and sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.

One must travel, to learn. Every day, now, old Scriptural phrases that never possessed any significance for me before, take to themselves a meaning.

I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

Humor is mankind’s greatest blessing.

What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.

A successful book is not made of what is in it, but what is left out of it.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Laughter without a tinge of philosophy is but a sneeze of humor. Genuine humor is replete with wisdom.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.

It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir…mighty scarce.